They are in the top 10 for couples with horrible pre-marriage relationships. His initial interest in her was purely sexual. In fact, as far as we know, their first encounter was a sexual one. It’s difficult to tell whether she was even a willing participant or if she felt compelled by his power to give in to something she didn’t want to do. She was married to one of his best employees. He already had a large family, too. She got pregnant and he got embarrassed. After a week of trying to get her travelling husband to get home and have sex with her so that his indiscretion could be covered up, he developed a plot to kill her husband. He succeeded. And as soon as he was dead, they got married. Do you think she knew that her new husband had conspired to kill her first?
The secret didn’t stay a secret. Few secrets do. Everybody knew what had really transpired eventually. Twenty-five generations down the line, in fact, people knew it, but they were careful about how they talked about it. Her name was left out of the family lists, though no one could deny her significant role in the family. She and this lustful, selfish, adulterous, conspiring, murderous husband of hers were the great grandparents of Jesus twenty-five generations back.
Listen, God can take the worst of circumstance, and create something great out of them. Crummy starts are difficult to overcome, but they can be overcome – with God, all things are possible. Instead of giving up, do this:
1. Confess it and repent. Even if your disastrous start was years ago and you’ve just been living with circumstances, take the time to verbally admit your mess-ups to God and each other. Don’t just remember how wrong it was, say how wrong it was, and then say that you will never go back to that kind of behavior again.
2. Persevere through the current struggles. David and Bathsheba’s baby died. He had tons of family struggles with direct correlation to their sin, but they stayed together. Team up with your, and with your God, and work through it.
3. Envision a prosperous future for you and your spouse. When you’ve pushed through the difficulties, press on to take hold of a great marriage. Never be satisfied with a poor or mediocre marriage.
4. Thank God for the blessings he sends your way. David and Bathsheba did have another child. His name was Solomon.
5. Remember that the greatest victories of your battle might come generations after you. It’s not all about you. God has generations in mind.