“False face must hide what the false heart doth know” (Shakespeare, Macbeth).
“They always look so happy!”
“They are the perfect couple!”
“They’ve got it all together; you can just tell.”
They aren’t happy, though. They aren’t the perfect couple and they are falling apart. They are Box Heads. Box Heads are people who paint a smiling face on their box then slip it over their heads to cover up their true faces, and then pretend to be happy when they aren’t. They pretend to have the answers. They fake it, hoping one day they will make it. Some of them have faked it long enough, though; they actually have little hope that they will ever experience a godly marriage and begin to question whether the marriage will even survive!
There are plenty of single Box Heads, but it seems it is easier to slip on your box head when you are married too. Often, one person in the marriage will wear the box, pretending everything is OK. He starts wearing the box when he is with his wife to protect her, and then realizes he never actually takes it off. She learns to wear it around her husband because he gets angry when she takes the box off in front of him. She only takes it off when she is with her best friend or people at work, people she feels safe to be herself with. Eventually, both end up as Box Heads. They are a Box Head couple.
We have good intentions so as not to hurt any feelings or stir up conflict, but Box Heads are actors. They are pretenders. Shakespeare and scripture call them hypocrites! Now, in case you are a Box Head and you do get your feelings hurt being called a hypocrite, remember that Jesus urged hypocrites to remove their boxes – the first step towards maturity and a closer walk with Him. Don’t keep living in shame because you wear one; take it off. And remember that if you think you’re leading other couples more effectively by wearing your boxes, you are in truth only leading others to be Box Head couples. Take off the boxes, live in authenticity, and be free to grow!