According to Sports Illustrated, Donald Trump has been granted permission to develop a $1 billion golf resort near Aberdeenshire, Scotland. He was given the go-ahead by the county council, but not without stiff opposition by some of the locals. Trump has already spent $60 million on the project. He said of what’s upcoming, “We are building on the finest piece of land I have ever seen, and we will turn it into a national jewel.” [“For the Record,” Sports Illustrated (July 12, 2010), p. 18].
I guess some of the locals already think it’s a national jewel. That’s understandable. Trump has seen a lot of land, and this is the finest he’s ever seen – before he spends the $1 billion. Perhaps for some of the people there, what he’s doing is like doing a $1 billion touch-up on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
Jewel or junk? Treasure or trash?
If you are bent toward being a preservationist, you probably side with the locals. Trump will destroy, not improve the natural beauty that exists now. If you like to bend a golf club, you likely side with the developers and believe that a finely planned golf course really can beautify the beautiful.
When a spouse proposes some change, some altering of the way things are, they can believe that they are only trying to make things better. The partner in the “one flesh” relationship might not agree.
- We ought to have a child.
- We should move.
- We need a little less time shopping together.
- We need to just talk more.
- We would benefit by adjusting our level of savings.
- We don’t both have to visit your parents.
- We should stay home for Christmas.
- We should have make love more often.
- You could work-out early in the morning without me.
There isn’t a cookie-cutter solution for junk-or-jewel issues like these. Working through them when you disagree is difficult. For a husband to demonstrate a submitting love when choices like these are being considered is not easy. Nor is it easy for a wife to flesh-out a submitting respect when she honestly believes that a treasured set-up is being trashed. Yet mutual submission, characterized by love for her and respect for him, is still the call of Christ our Lord (Ephesians 5:21-33).
Be patient, your husband may need some time to process this proposal. Be communicative because your assumption about a positive change might not move your wife in the same way. Be peaceful because belligerently demanding your way probably won’t lead to beautification. Even after the decision has been made, be aware that transition in the heart takes longer than the actual adjustment in the flesh. The tension won’t always be gone just because the change is made. Be gentle with each other all the way.