In The Taking of Pelham 123, Garber, played by Denzel Washington has, admitted under duress to Ryder (John Travolta) that he had illegally accepted $35,000 from a foreign company. The deal was that Garber had already made the decision to grant the company a contract, but they didn’t know it yet. He had justified his actions at the time because the money didn’t influence his decision. When he told his wife the truth, and as he was telling Ryder, Garber confessed that he knew taking the money was wrong. Ryder was wondering how Garber’s wife had reacted when he told her the news:
Ryder pressed him for the details, “Well, did she freak out or what?”
“She… wasn’t happy, but she understood,” Garber hesitantly replied.
Ryder responded, “Well, that’s love right?”
To which Garber remarked, “No, that’s marriage… that’s another thing.”
Wow! What an incredible line!
This sentiment is obvious, though not always appreciated, when the comparison is between “feelings of love” and marriage. Judith Viorst observed, “One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” That’s certainly true, but what about love that is beyond “feeling.”
Do a survey through your Bible to discover the people whom Jesus calls us to love – not those you “feel loving toward;” but actually love. Who do we love in a familial fashion? Who do you love with a brotherly love? And then, there are many relationships in which we are to express agape – unconditional love! The list is extensive! The list is especially long when it is personalized. Don’t just list “enemies.” Write down their names.
When you are married to one whom you love, though, commitment gets an upgrade! Isn’t Garber right? When your spouse stands by you, really stands by you, through the pains that come with the most boneheaded decisions, that’s more than love – it is marriage!
Most of us make a lot of mistakes as we live. We’ve made lots of decisions that fall under the “colossally stupid” column. The rest of you can quit reading now. You can go here. When we do that, there are people who love us and they encourage us; they pat us on the back or hug us, they call us, pray for us, and refuse to hold our sin against us. And then, there is the husband or wife who remembers the commitment, “For better, for worse.” You encourage, but you do it by his side – closer to his side than anybody else. You hug her with a full-frontal, bear-type hug that says, “I will never leave you.” You call even though you left his side just a few minutes ago. You pray next to her lying in bed. You make love to your spouse, renewing your covenant.
Is that love? “No, that’s marriage… that’s another thing.”