What Christmas present do you remember wanting the most as a kid? You had that specific system, game, doll, glove, bike or Hotwheels car that was going to make or break your Christmas morning. Imagine if your parents listened very carefully or read your list with interest because they wanted to get you exactly what you asked for. Imagine, then, that they searched out the best deals, but wouldn’t settle for anything except what you said you wanted. Think about them going to the mall all the way across town, fighting the crowd, because they knew a store that had your gift on the shelf. What if they didn’t want to take a chance getting it online and not getting you the gift that was so important.
Imagine next that on Christmas morning, you opened your gift, and saw that they had pulled it off! They got you exactly what you desired the most! Then pretend, that you turned to them, and said, “I’m disappointed that I had to tell you what I wanted. If you loved me, you would have just known.”
It’s a myth that your S/O should know exactly what you want if you haven’t told them. It’s a myth that if you tell them what you want, and they get it for you, that their love is somehow less because they had to ask.
Even regarding our relationship with God, the brother of Jesus wrote, “You don’t have, because you don’t ask;” and in context, desiring but not asking leads to quarrels and fighting. Can you relate?
Love isn’t knowing what your partner wants. Love asks what your S/O desires, listens carefully, and then enthusiastically pursues what they crave.
This is not just true at Christmas.
What if you set up a time in the next 24 hours to ask each other what you desire the most?