| One of the easiest and most harmful things you can do in a relationship is judge another for a weakness you don’t have. To judge for struggling with something with which you don’t struggle. For falling to temptation you have no problem resisting. The author of the book of Hebrews in the Bible said that in light of the heroes of faith who have preceded us, we should “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” (Hebrews 12:1). The author might have had in mind a particular entanglement that he wanted the readers to “throw off,” but for individual readers, it’s likely that what comes to mind for you is different that what comes to mind for me. Temptation is common. WHAT tempts us varies from person to person. It’s harmful because, typically, we want to be helpful for people; but harsh judgment (judgment without empathy) doesn’t help people stop falling. That kind of judgment produces defensiveness and isolation instead of repentance and companionship. It’s likely they know something with which you struggle that they have no problem resisting, but if they bring that up, you’ll accuse them of deflecting. It’s likely you’ve been on both sides of this if you been alive for a while. It’s also harmful because judging another who struggles with a temptation you resist easily can quickly lead to self-righteousness. There is nothing like the sin of another that gets me to shift the focus from my own weakness and make me act like, and believe, I’m better than others. And if there is any sin that Jesus calls out more than others, it’s self-righteousness. So, judging another because they are weak where you are strong hurts them AND it hurts you. Get the log out of your own eye. Then you will able to see clearly to remove the bark from other’s eye (Matthew 7:5). And, without that log in your eye, you’ll be wiser at the timing and the way you try to help another. Have a conversation about this with your spouse and your kids. Maybe you’ll think of somebody else with whom you should talk. An apology is often a great way to start. |
| Grace and Peace!Richard and JeannaLynn |
