| Where love is the seed, resentment is a path on which no seed will grow. Bitterness stays right there to devour any prospect of love the moment it lands. |
| Resentment is an emotion born of perceived unfair treatment or deep hurt due to one severe and/or many small wounds, It is both protective and attacking. It can almost always be seen in expressions and body language. It can be heard in tones, volumes, and in silence. The subject of our resentment may be apologetic, penitent, remorseful, or not. Our resentment is maintained by self-talk, regular review of the hurtful events revenge fantasies, protective tendencies, and withholding forgiveness. The resentment certainly begins with the actions of another, but it is maintained by the resentful. No act of love will penetrate the resentment while a commitment to resentment remains. No fond thoughts or happy memories will persist long enough to avoid the snatch of the bird of bitterness. Resentment is related to the works of the flesh (Galatians 5) or the ways of the old life (Colossians 3). You can’t simply set it aside. Resentment can’t be coddled, it must be put to death. Meditate on these truths to kill resentment. 1. Resentment only dies when you are intentional about ridding yourself of it. Choose the mindset that is opposite of resentful for you. Express that mindset in your self-talk. 2. Anti-resentment can include deciding on 3 tangible actions you will take that live out your chosen mindset and doing them even if you don’t feel like it. 3. Celebrating your victory usually leads to more. 4. Forgiveness is a must. Verbalize forgiveness (even if only to yourself), refuse retaliation, and verbalize cancelling the debt, i.e. “You don’t have anything to make up to me.” Forgiveness by definition is cancelling a debt. 5. Forgiveness does not always include resuming a relationship the way it was before. You can put away resentment and “put away” the other person. 6. Resentment often follows you to other relationships. Put it to death so that subsequent relationships can live. 7. Resentment negatively impacts emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Putting it to death is good for everybody. 8. Jesus is our example of putting resentment to death and he calls us to it. His love shows us how and no one has more reason to be resentful than he. |
